Tempered Passionate Leadership

The first day of class, when we were asked to share why we wanted to be in a Religious Leadership class, I gave a polite response. I have respected and appreciated Professor Dalton on the Committee on Community Life that I serve with her, but my distrust of anything as corporate, Harvard Business School, the principles of successful people, as "Religious Leadership" made the only reason I signed up due to a course requirement. I said out loud that one of the things I wished to learn was to move beyond the instinctive aspects of my leadership. I was surprised at realizing that this answer, because it wasn't merely politeness, it was the truth. Despite my youth, I have been in many different leadership places. This was the first example that this class gave me insight into my own processes around leadership. Despite my initial cynicism around such a course as this, I have discovered a great deal about myself and its usefulness for a course of ministry. That in of itself, that situations will be unexpectedly useful over my anticipated cynicism was a first important lesson that I will try to hold on to throughout my (God-willing) career as an ordained elder of the United Methodist Church.

Another one of the important aspects I have learned and have been helped systematically thinking through, is that there are in fact limits to how far my leadership can take me. This year I said yes to everything. And this year that parts of my leadership suffered because of stretching myself too thin. I think that saying "no" will be a constant adaptive problem in my future leadership, yet this year taught me the consequences of that constant "yes." Since I was taking this class at the same time that I was recognizing my limits, I was given the time and safety to constructively think through this unexpected roadblock. No sometimes means that my hopes and objectives will be achieved, yes sometimes acts as a hindrance.

One of the places that I would like to continue to grow is that when I feel so comfortable in a group, like I did for this religious leadership class, is to how to be quiet gracefully. My eagerness to contribute and to process my thoughts verbally still plays across my face. I wish to indicate that the reason I wish to remain quiet is because I want to hear others speak, not that I wish to be so magnanimous as to keep my mouth shut. One of the places that I wish to grow in my leadership is to learn how to gracefully convey that while I am often convicted in my own opinions, I also appreciate the opinion of others with equal passion.

Ultimately, what I have learned about myself in this class is that I am a tempered* passionate leader. I know that I feel my victories and disappointments keenly. Yet, I also know that I have the assessment tools and support network to support me and not let me get overwhelmed by the disappointments and the headiness of victoriesg. The passion was the instinct; this class was the addition and recognition of the tools that allows me to channel and guide that passion without burning out. This was easily one of the most useful classes that I have taken at Claremont School of Theology and I am extremely grateful for it.

Thank you Professor Dalton.


*Temper, not as in anger, but tempered as in qualified.

Rule #2 Rocking the Boat: Testimony

One of the most compelling aspects of the Quaker life, is it's testimonies. These are not beliefs, “but a description of committed actions.”[1] These fundamental principles are lived out by Quakers in their everyday lives and practice.

Here is a quick video that summarizes quite a few of the testimonies and their importance in the Friendly life:

As you can see there is a direct connection between identity and action. In Debra Meyerson’s Rocking the Boat, this connection between identity and action is one that she points to throughout the book. It is at these places of intersection between identity and action that the potential for friction and growth happens.

In chapter seven, Meyerson talks about small wins, which are an important part of how I understand change-based leadership. Yet she also talks these small gains in terms of people’s simple, lived out commitment to aligning their corporation’s culture with their vision for a more peaceful and just society. To me, the parallel between testimony (in that committed actions, done in a faithful, peaceful matter) and the small gains are remarkable.

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[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_Testimony

Rule #1 of Rocking the Boat: Know Thyself

For many Americans, gainful employment is done as corporate work. While working for a corporation sounds like it would have additional job security, sometimes the hierarchical power-structures of American society also eases life inside a corporation. Therefore, if you do not fit the traditional mode of "Moderate-conservative, white, male, with a wife and children," life inside that corporate world becomes complicated and constraining.

Meme image based off of the webcomic Hyperbole and a Half

Debra Meyerson, a professor and radical at Stanford, wrote Rocking the Boat for this particular worklife situation. Gathering data from hundreds of people, Meyerson carefully constructed a book that speaks to the people in the middle of corporate life that do not fit the heternormative, white, male expectations. This book is entirely for people who wish to change things, but have no desire to leave the organization that they are in.

In Chapter Three, Meyerson outlines the ways that people did not sacrifice their identity to conform with the corporate culture. A gay man did not bring a beard, but instead brought his partner of many years to the corporate dinner party. A woman giving an important presentation bought a fancy new suit, but refused to take out her cornrows. In each of these examples, I was struck by the fact that the people knew what their boundaries were. The corporation would explicitly or subtly pressure the individuals to conform, and to a certain extent they were willing and happy to do so; yet, they also recognized when conforming would overwhelm a critical part of their identity. There were lines that they simply would not allow corporate culture to cross.

A classmate of mine, Lorraine Ceniceros, suggests that the most important part of religious leadership is that we need to "know ourselves." We need to have self-awareness of our own triggers, passions, and growing edges. To me, Rocking the Boat, gives examples of where that self-awareness is not just preventative, but also constructive. This is eye-opening and world changing. (More on this in the next blog).