Double Bind

I am currently vacuuming my apartment; I will be leading a meeting in this apartment in an hour. I have spent an hour and fifteen minutes cleaning my apartment and fifteen minutes writing the agenda. As I vacuum, I am rehearsing in my head over and over again the problems of women in leadership and chiding myself for this seemingly odd division of labor.

According to Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli women in leadership are in a Double Bind:

Female leaders face a dilemma. the prescriptions for the female gender role stipulate that women be especially communal, and the prescriptions for most leadership roles stipulate that leaders be especially agentic. The communal woman is expected to be helpful and warm. She avoids being overly assertive or dominant, doesn't promote or very prominently display her accomplishments, and makes no overt to influence others. In contrast, the agentic leader is expected to be direct and assertive, exhibit confidence and competence, and exert influence over others.

These expectations create a double bind for women. Highly communal female leaders may be criticized for not being agentic enough. But female leaders who are highly agentic may be criticized for lacking communion.

I recognize that there is a very real sense of double bind in the expectations of women. Perhaps I am still young and idealistic, but I do think that there is a way around it. It's just that we women have to be both the ideal woman and the totally on top of it leader. My Double Bind is that I think that I have to be both the woman who takes time for building and cultivating relationships and the person who makes sure that critical tasks are accomplished in a way that includes speed and consistency.

The problem is there aren't actually enough hours in a day to be both agentic and communal. So in the end, women really do have to choose.

And vacuuming, despite all of my feminist conscious raising, despite all of my understanding and confidence in myself as a leader, despite all of my appreciation for the hard work of women before me in trying to break me from the entrapments of feminine gender presentation, is my choice. I'm still making sure that my apartment looks immaculate. I am prioritizing my status as a woman (who must have a clean apartment) over developing my leadership skills. While the agenda is important, I realize that I am absolutely convinced that I will not be taken as seriously if my apartment is the least little bit messy.

The way that I realize that the Double Bind works for me, is that I have to spend more time being a more perfect woman, so that I can be seen as a regular leader.